Dreams are Answers to Questions

Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask. It wasn't a 'scary' Halloween nightmare, just full of overwhelming emotions. Wave after wave of unrelenting grief and helplessness. So, a nightmare nonetheless. A dream is a microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul. Erich Fromm. In a massive building complex, with both open grounds, hills, and buildings. Maybe it was a school, or a hospital or something, I think maybe it was a combination of both, as there were many sick people, as well as college aged people, some skating around crazily on roller blades or bikes, which I considered was pretty dangerous for other people on the footpaths. And others were sick. The students all seemed happy and carefree, such a contrast to the others. I walked through rooms of people waiting for help. Many of them were grey, pale, and had dark circles beneath their eyes. some looked well, they were there with family members, or waiting for family members. They all had a sense of resignation. Like a triage hospital ward in a third world country during an epidemic... 

They knew they wouldn't get enough help, the assistance they or their loved ones needed before it was too late. And yet, they came, and sat, and waited, because it's what you did, it's all they could do. As I walked through, I felt the need to sit next to a particular woman. Her newborn baby had been taken away for treatment and she was alone as she waited for news. I sat beside her and gently said hello. She told me her baby was dying of a degenerative brain disease, and there was such hopelessness in her voice. Numbness, emptiness, as though she'd reached the limit of emotions and pain and fear, and there was nothing left. I said to her quietly, 'my brother is dying of the same disease', because she seemed to need to hear that she wasn't alone, and I needed to connect with someone too. I could feel everyone in the room looking at me with sympathy and concern, although I knew that they were in just as bad, if not worse conditions themselves. But I had to keep moving. had to continue, it was just what I did, what I had to do. as though it was a part of me I couldn't control, an aspect of my soul that i couldn't fight. And so I left the room and continued walking.

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